Do I wanna get up today

I lay here awake and I ask myself how the hell I’m supposed to get out of bed.  Crazy headache, intense nausea and my limbs feeling like lead melted deep into my mattress.  

And these feelings are supposed to get WORSE?! This treatment and the idea of HERXING is freaking me out bigtime.

A part of me is happy I get a day or two longer while I wait for my first drug to arrive (from a compounding pharmacy). 

I hate that my life feels so pointless sometimes especially on work days where my boyfriend leaves and I’m left here with my bed my couch and my cat.   I’m not gonna lie..some days are a pretty downer existence. 

BUT, this illness almost makes you feel bipolar (not literally).  In a sense that you can have moments like these and then a few hours later you dig really deep and find that fight to wanna do everything in your power to get better.

Hopefully that happens to me later today!

2 thoughts on “Do I wanna get up today

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